I can't believe we've come come into this situation! Sometimes I wonder what love really is - if it can really conquer everything.They said LOVE forgives even the most unforgivable mistakes; I myself strongly believed that! It's just "I DON'T KNOW" really what's happening in our relationship. It's ruined! It's gone! It's over! And there's no way for me to recover it because she's not giving me even a very little chance to do so. There's this "DOUBT" inside me and I just realized it lately if she really loved me for the past three years of our relationship. I just assume she did love me because if not, I can't feel as much hurt like this. LOVE is really something that is very hard to rebuild when it's broken and so with heart. It's almost unbearable :( - really! I want to move on but I just can't. I always think of her every night before I go to sleep. I even lost my mind in my class because of this. See? How much THESE affect me. I know that she, making that decision, made us both feel hurt but she still did. And it's already happening. You know what I feel right now? I feel nothing but a heavy heart, anger sometimes - anger to my self, anger to everybody around me. I tried not to be affected - I mean I was already affected and damaged inside but what I really wanted to show is for being me OUTSIDE - being just the same ME as before when I have her. I don't want to hold grudges and I really don't, and if I do, that might be the first time that I'm gonna lose myself.
You'd really be in great pain when you fall down. Just like in relationship, spending your time, spending your life, spending your real love to a person for a long time just to build a SOMEWHAT PERFECT RELATIONSHIP is not easy but it is really fulfilling especially when that person you love is doing the same thing as you did. But when that RELATIONSHIP you thought is PERFECT is gone, you'll be ruined!There's no PERFECT relationship as what you thought, as what I thought, as what we thought. Everything is just IMPERFECT. Even our relationship with God, it's imperfect. We often hurt God's feeling by our actions, thoughts, and our words. See? It's not perfect! And what relationship can we expect from the one we love? NOTHING. My point is - we can only make relationship PERFECT if we accept it's imperfections. Acceptance!If everyone just accepts ACCEPTANCE as part of relationship, there would be no BREAKOUT! ACCEPT that nothing is perfect, ACCEPT that everyone can commit mistakes, ACCEPT that even if how much one loves you he/she will do things beyond your expectations, ACCEPT! ACCEPT! ACCEPT! ACCEPT! ACCEPT!
ACCEPT me for being me because I am not perfect :(
I really love you! I really do. I swear to God.. But I can not guarantee you that I can't hurt you. There are things we do that we think is right, but it's not. We only make things complicated. I ask you once again, don't break up with me please :(
